Memories
by Fb-PHE13
Summary: When Leo was five, his father left him and his mother alone after his temper snapped. Now, the only brother figure in his life left him and the others despite everything they've been through. After thinking it over and over again, alone in his hotel room, Leo can't help but slowly realize that, maybe, he's not so different from them after all; he had let his anger blind him.


Leo sat on the bed, staring out the window. A towel was draped around his shoulders, his hair still damp from his shower. His mind was turmoil; thoughts flying around and clouding his emotions. He didn't want to believe it; he couldn't believe it. Ward couldn't be evil, at least, he never started out evil. There was no denying the fact that Ward was HYDRA, the double agent had made that quite clear.

He couldn't bear the fact that he was betrayed by another family member. He saw Ward as his older brother; he was someone he looked up too. Ward was a good agent, and he saved Simmons, so Leo felt like he owed him something. Now, however, he didn't feel like that. He was furious at Ward for betraying them. It shattered Skye, and it hurt him to know that the man he once saw as his brother was a villain.

As he thought about what Ward did, Leo couldn't help but think back to his father.

Oh, how much they were alike.

It drove him crazy to know that yet another family member had left him. It hurt Leo that it happened again; he had believed he would be able to tell ahead of time if someone would turn against him, but it turns out he didn't know the difference between a friend and foe.

Leo's fists clenched as his thoughts drifted toward his father, and, again, his anger boiled in his chest. This time, instead of taking it out on something, he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, struggling to control his growing hurt.

He unclenched his fists and opened his eyes, rubbing them as he sniffed. His anger soon turned to pain as his thoughts kept drifting back to his father. He had lived five happy years with his mother and father, until one day his father snapped. He didn't know why he did, but it happened. His father hollered at him and his mother, directing any rage he had at them. His mother protected him, shielding him behind his back as she tried to calm his father down, but the man wouldn't listen.

Leo, being only five at the time, was terrified. He didn't know what to do, so he just cowered back. Suddenly, his father slapped his mother's face, causing her to stumble back, and stormed out of the house, swearing behind him.

Now, the engineer could see the signs that led up to that day. He just wished he saw it earlier. He also yearned to see his mother again, realizing that she had stayed strong for him for all those years. He felt guilty, looking back and seeing that he was never there for her.

Leo inhaled sharply and looked up at the ceiling, wishing Ward was better than that. Just like the man Leo once called father, Ward had blew up on Skye before completely abandoning the team; the family.

As he looked back on that day, he realized he was almost no better than they were.

Shaking his head, Leo lowered it into his hands, tears starting to spill from his eyes. It hurt so much to think that his "brother" had left him, and his fear of his family falling apart was coming back to him. So far, it seemed like they were slowly repairing anything that had broken them before, but he was still afraid.

He didn't know if those cracks would grow again, and he didn't know if they would shatter completely. The more he thought about it, the more his thoughts that had once buzzed about his father and Ward disappeared and were replaced by the thought of Simmons.

Leo was so relieved when she had looked him straight in the eye and assured him she wasn't HYDRA. If she was, he didn't know what he would do. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she was HYDRA. He was glad that they were able to heal the rift that had become between them. It was hard seeing Simmons so distant from him. He knew she was realizing she couldn't follow the rules anymore, and that it was causing her to become unstable, but it scared him.

He was afraid he was losing her.

He thought she would realize she didn't need him anymore, and then she would leave him.

Just like his father had left him.

Just like Ward had left him.

Leo knew he was probably being ridiculous, but the dark thoughts kept plaguing him. He couldn't shake them off, no matter how hard he tried. His whole world was falling apart around him, and it scared him. The last time that happened was when his father blew up on him and his family.

A knock on the door startled Leo, and his head shot up. The tears were still running, and he tried to dry them off. "Fitz?" A soft voice called, and he immediately recognized the soft British accent.

"I'm coming," he called, his voice small. He stood from his bed and headed over, opening it to let Jemma inside. She took one look up at his face, and immediately wrapped him in a hug. Leo swallowed and held her close; the scent of her hair tickling his nose.

"What's wrong?" Jemma asked, pulling away and gently brushing aside a few of his tears as the door shut behind them. Leo, unable to speak because he was choked with emotion, just shook his head and retreated back to his bed. He could hear her light footsteps following him, and he said nothing as she sat down next to him.

"How could he do that to us?" He whispered softly, even though he knew what she was probably going to say; she kept repeating it at the pool. However, the answer he got was different, and it surprised him.

"I don't know, Fitz," she whispered softly and sighed, brushing stray hairs out of her face.

Leo and Jemma sat there in silence, pondering the notion about exactly why Ward would do that to them. They were a family, and he just left them to die. Leo almost jumped when Jemma gently took his hand in hers and give it a soft squeeze. He glanced over at her and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips before he turned away. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Sorry?" Jemma asked, sounding puzzled. "Sorry for what?" When he didn't answer, she gently cupped his chin and moved his head so he was looking at her. "Fitz, why are you sorry?"

"I blew up," he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth. "I shouldn't have let myself gotten as angry as I did and lash out. I could've hurt someone, Simmons. I'm no better than they are."

Jemma's eyes looked saddened after Leo blurted out to her the reason he was apologizing, and she pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't say that," she said, knowing exactly what he meant by them. "You are better than them; we all lose our cool at times, Fitz. You're not the only one." She paused and added more gently, "I know you would never hurt any of us."

Leo's lip trembled as he closed his eyes, holding Jemma tightly as if she was his only lifeline. "I don't want to end up like him."

Soothingly, she took his hand and rubbed small circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. Jemma knew he wasn't talking about Ward, now; Leo was talking about his father. "You won't end up like him," she assured, voice confident. "You are so much better than him, Fitz."

"Do you really believe that?" Leo asked, his voice low and weary. He wasn't challenging her, he just doubted himself. He feared he would end up like his father, no matter what he did, and his little outburst from earlier fed into his fear.

"I do," she replied honestly. "I really do because I believe in you." With that, she pulled away, lifted his head up, and leaned forward, gently pressing her lips against his. "At least I know you would never hurt me."


End file.
